NEW GIRL Loses Its Virginity


In an episode of monumental proportions, the New Girl gang reminisces on how they each lost their virginity – each trying to out-do the others in terms of who had the worst experience.

Jess starts off by announcing that the man that had been her first time is in town and that he has asked her on a date. This spirals into peaked curiosity on the sex lives of the members of the group, so they decide to tell their tales.

Jess starts her story by claiming she lost her virginity on prom night, but her story is cut short for having too much of a prologue.

Cece butts in to tell of her deflowering, saying that on her prom night she met Mick Jagger in a bar and rolled with the stones.

Schmidt recalls a night his senior year when him and his newfound love interest, Elizabeth, decided to have sex after many months of dating. Nick was tripping on shrooms when the pudgy couple began their sexual escapade and he attempted to crawl out without being noticed. Schmidt, however, used a bit too much lube that caused him to slide off the top bunk and smoother his roommate. After some back and forth, Nick crawled to safety leaving the room to the somewhat happy couple.

Winston remembers losing his virginity on the night when Nick’s dad brought the two of them to New York City and brought women back with him. Reflecting on the experience, Nick explains that the women were prostitutes, but Winston was sure that his girl, Mysteria, was a nurse.

In an effort to make up for her prolonged story, Jess continues her saga of how she lost her virginity. She met up with CeCe in a bar and saw the guy who serenaded her at prom and the two of them. Ironically, the two girls look around the bar and see their future friends Nick, Schmidt, and Winston, goofing around in a booth. And just to make a Lost reference in my post, it reminded me how in Lost, the castaways had already crossed paths with one another before crashing on the island. Similarly, the best friends had already glanced over at each other – and Schmidt even tried a pickup line on CeCe: “So, do you like DVDs?”

Jess continues to explain that the she and the guy decided to have sex in a miniature castle on a public playground, but his anti-depressants hindered him from getting it up. As soon as day broke, some kids found the two of them wedged between the gates so a firefighter had to come rescue them. This fireman, Tommy, rescues her and becomes the man t take the New Girl’s virginity.

At the end of the episode, the group disbands while Jess continues to get ready for her date. Before leaving, she makes a point to say goodbye to Nick – their sexual tension has been in effect since the pilot, and he intends on cutting it with a knife tonight.

In a play out of an ’80s romantic comedy, Nick rushes after Jess in the elevator, scoops her up, and brings her back to his bedroom where the rest is kind of self-explanatory. But if you need explanation, they have sex.

To end this post, I want to just throw out how funny it is that Brenda Song is still a recurring guest star on this show. That makes her the only Suite Life of Zack and Cody star to go anywhere after the Disney channel show ended. You go, Brenda Song. You go.


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