My Quest to “Get that Reference”

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I’ve been on a quest for some time now – a quest to, “Get that Reference.” Everyday, people everywhere have conversations and in those conversations people make references. From here, there are three branches in which a conversation can deviate. In the first world, the reciprocator understands the reference and retorts with yet another reference, leading to a spiral of references. In the second, the reciprocator pretends to understand the reference; they nod, smile, giggle, twitch a little, then excuse themselves for the bathroom. The third scenario – the bane of my existence – occurs when the reciprocator asks what the reference was about then immediately blocks their ears screaming, “SPOILERS!” And because I don’t like to be “that guy” mentioned in the third scenario, I’ve made it my quest to “Get that Reference.”

This past year, I managed to watch the entirety of the Emmy nominated dramas – Breaking BadDownton Abbey, Game of Thrones, Homeland, House of Cards, and Mad Men. That makes me cool, right? I know all those references now! But, alas, my quest continues. 

This weekend, I reviewed my Netflix Instant Queue (now called “My List,” but I don’t like that name) to see what shows I should pick up. I tried three episodes of the critically-acclaimed comedy Louie and I elicited no reaction…aside from cringing at the unnecessary sex scenes. Thinking it was just a fluke, I moved on to the first two episodes of the cult comedy Freaks and Geeks. Again, no reaction. “This can’t be, I should try watching The IT Crowd,” thought Rob. Nope. Nothing. What is going on? How am I supposed to understand the constant references to these shows? I guess I’ll have to resort to the uncomfortable giggling, twitching, and frantic fits to the bathroom.

Check out this amazingly accurate Portlandia sketch about spoilers:

A Word On AMERICAN (HORROR) STORY: COVEN

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Don’t get me wrong: American Horror Story: Coven is a great show and it has truly expanded Ryan Murphy’s repertoire as a producer and an artist. But there’s something about this season that has been a bit…off.

In the anthology’s first two chapters, we were introduced to a world with haunted houses and demonic spirits. We were genuinely shocked to learn of Violet’s death – almost three episodes after she had actually died! We were concerned about Sister Jude’s deteriorating state as a patient at Briarcliff. We felt for the characters. However, in this season I’m not sure I can say the same. And it all comes down to one character: Misty Day.

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Misty Day, who is played by AHS vet Lily Rabe, is both the best and worst part of Coven. As the regenerative witch with a thing for Stevie Nicks, Rabe is a scene-stealer whenever she pops up. However, her ability to bring characters back to life (the list tallying Kyle, Madison, Myrtle, and herself) makes everyone virtually invincible – so there are no real stakes anymore. We are no longer shocked by a death like television audiences have proved to be (Red Wedding, anyone?).

On a slightly better note, I’m glad that Kathy Bates and Angela Bassett have stepped out of their hyped spotlight to let the former AHS stars take the helm of the show. And again, I’m not saying this season is bad, it’s just not what I would have wanted from the third installment of the horror anthology.

TV Haikus

Two weeks gone, and to what avail? So I’ve decided to write haikus to make up for my lack of television blogging. This is cool, right?

NEW GIRL

Coach is back, thank God!

But Schmidt moved out, Cece’s sad.

Nick and Jess? In love.

“Temple Grandin” jokes,

A lot of diversity

For a show on Fox.

THE MINDY PROJECT

Mindy rebounds and

Makes a bro club for her friends.

Appreciated.

Josh Peck guest stars, what?

Doc Reed’s dad? Charles Widmore.

Danny in the nude.

MODERN FAMILY

Cam and Mitch engaged,

Extravagance? No Pepper.

Prostitute downstairs.

Manny vs. Manny

Can they both win? But, of course!

Lily makes me laugh.

AMERICAN HORROR STORY

Nan and Christian boy,

Fiona kills new supreme,

Where’s your tongue, Spaulding?

Zombies attack house,

Who blinds Delia? Burn her!

Misty Day revives.

DOWNTON ABBEY

Edith’s pregnant. Yikes!

Mary rolls in the mud. Yikes!

Violet’s sick, then not.

Robert takes the states.

Bates learns truths about Anna,

Baxter’s the new spy.

HOMELAND

Carrie pees on stick.

Plus? Whose? Saul goes duck hunting.

Random people die.

Dana changes name.

Moves out of the house, abrupt!

Where is Brody? Huh?

THE WALKING DEAD

Who burned the bodies?

Carol. Sorrowful goodbye,

Alcohol poisons.

Flu plagues the prison;

Beth – no tears in this new world.

Carl should die soon.

Well, that was a fun segment, right? Let’s just look at this picture and laugh:

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/11/25/challenge-haiku/