TV Haikus

Two weeks gone, and to what avail? So I’ve decided to write haikus to make up for my lack of television blogging. This is cool, right?

NEW GIRL

Coach is back, thank God!

But Schmidt moved out, Cece’s sad.

Nick and Jess? In love.

“Temple Grandin” jokes,

A lot of diversity

For a show on Fox.

THE MINDY PROJECT

Mindy rebounds and

Makes a bro club for her friends.

Appreciated.

Josh Peck guest stars, what?

Doc Reed’s dad? Charles Widmore.

Danny in the nude.

MODERN FAMILY

Cam and Mitch engaged,

Extravagance? No Pepper.

Prostitute downstairs.

Manny vs. Manny

Can they both win? But, of course!

Lily makes me laugh.

AMERICAN HORROR STORY

Nan and Christian boy,

Fiona kills new supreme,

Where’s your tongue, Spaulding?

Zombies attack house,

Who blinds Delia? Burn her!

Misty Day revives.

DOWNTON ABBEY

Edith’s pregnant. Yikes!

Mary rolls in the mud. Yikes!

Violet’s sick, then not.

Robert takes the states.

Bates learns truths about Anna,

Baxter’s the new spy.

HOMELAND

Carrie pees on stick.

Plus? Whose? Saul goes duck hunting.

Random people die.

Dana changes name.

Moves out of the house, abrupt!

Where is Brody? Huh?

THE WALKING DEAD

Who burned the bodies?

Carol. Sorrowful goodbye,

Alcohol poisons.

Flu plagues the prison;

Beth – no tears in this new world.

Carl should die soon.

Well, that was a fun segment, right? Let’s just look at this picture and laugh:

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/11/25/challenge-haiku/

Fall Television So Far…

Now that the first few weeks of fall television are under our belts and we’ve bid adieu to Breaking Bad and Dexter (on gravely different terms…spoiler pun intended) it’s time to reflect on what’s working and what’s not working with my line up.

What’s working:

New Girl

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I’ve gone “all in” with the third season of New Girl, and the cast has never been stronger. Between Jess and Nick’s honeymoon phase, Schmidt’s juggling of CeCe and Elizabeth (played by the hilarious Emmy winner Merritt Wever), and Winston’s obscenities, the laughs keep coming. The latest episode hit home with a broad range of emotions, when Schmidt is finally caught in his double life. Both Max Greenfield and Hannah Simone change the tone of the quirky show in a tear-inducing break-up, but Merritt Wever perks us up again with her devil-may-care attitude, giving Schmidt a pie to the face. Now, he vows to split up the seemingly innocent couple, Jess and Nick. Will he succeed? Will Winston be able to take care of Ferguson the cat? So many questions!

The Mindy Project

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The OB/GYNs are back for a take two, after Fox barely renewed the show for its second season. Mindy is back with a host of guest stars like James Franco and Beth Grant. So far, the season is fast paced, well-written, and generally funny. However, the plot line of Dr. Reed being fat just isn’t working out and Mindy Kaling needs to pen in some more lines for Betsy Putch, the more naïve version of Pam Beasley.

Modern Family

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What’s there to say about Modern Family? As much as I ragged on them for winning their fourth consecutive Emmy just last month, the first few episodes of this season have reminded me why it is one of the greatest shows on television. It’s managed to stay topical, tackling the legalization of gay marriage by having Mitch and Cam get engaged – but not before a comedy of errors. Elsewhere, Gloria is convinced that Fulgencio is possessed by the Devil and Phil has found a new niche of real estate customers – divorced wives.

Parks and Recreation

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Pawnee’s Parks Department crossed the pond in the season opener of Parks and Recreation to accept Leslie’s award for women’s achievement in government. With the town still against her, Leslie learns to come to terms with her constituent’s ignorance with the help of April. Meanwhile, Tom has a new competitor in the clothing rental business: Jean-Ralphio’s father. Retta is still doing her thing (thang?) in the office, as Chris and Ann Perkins break the news to their co-workers about their pregnancy. I’m expecting big things from this season of Parks and Rec, even though Rob Lowe and Rashida Jones are slated to bow out halfway through the season.

Downton Abbey

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Over in the UK, the upstairs/downstairs drama Downton Abbey is back in full swing, but the mourning of Mister Matthew has put a damper on their lives in the past six months. Also, O’Brien skipped town in the middle of the night (little explanation here), making Anna the head Lady’s Maid for Cora. Edith is off gallivanting in London with the publisher, while Mary mourns in her room, until Carson and the Dowager pushes her to her brink and she choses life – for her and her child. I’m loving the introduction of the electric mixer in the kitchen, finally giving Daisy something she’s good at. However, when Valentine’s Day rolls around, she’s left with a fake letter from Mrs. Patmore, while Olive gets one from Alfred, but she thinks it’s from Jimmy. It’s so middle school and I love it. All the while, Thomas has had a slight change of heart, and wants to be more of a part of baby George’s and baby Sybil’s life – much like Carson was a part of Sybil, Mary, and Edith’s life. I have a feeling the first two episodes were catch-up/set-up episodes, and hopefully they keep the drama coming.

What’s not working:

Homeland

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What was going on with the Homeland premiere? I understand that Brody’s confession must have destroyed his household, but by seeing the season three premiere, you’d think Dana is our main character. And don’t get me wrong, I think Dana is a very interesting, dynamic character, played by the very talented, Morgan Saylor. We saw very little of Claire Danes freaking out, which upset me, and too much of her having sex, which also upset me. Also, I know Brody is supposed to be MIA, but at least let us know what he’s up to, right? And Saul’s wife is back? Why? That part didn’t make sense. Let’s pray that this was just a bad set-up episode and that Carrie Mathison will go ham on some terrorists.

The Middle

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Just make a Sue Heck spin-off and I’ll be happy.

NEW GIRL Walks Down the Aisle

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Last night, Fox’s New Girl invited us to CeCe and Shevrang’s traditional Indian wedding, but their special day was not immune to Jess and the gang’s antics.

Before the wedding, Jess, who is the maid of honor, and Nick are unsure where their relationship is and choose to just enjoy each other’s company for the day.

Meanwhile, a full-bladdered Schmidt stumbles upon CeCe’s changing room on his search for a bathroom and the other bridesmaid yell for him to leave. As he does, he makes eye contact with CeCe, which he takes as a signal from her to get her out of the wedding.

When Schmidt tells the rest of his friends that CeCe wants to call off the wedding, they ignore his foolish thoughts. But, he is able to convince the conniving Winston to help him “sabo” (sabotage) the wedding.

From using a blow horn to send Shevrang’s horse into a frenzy to blasting “Cotton Eyed Joe” as CeCe walks down the aisle, the two get a rush from their pranks.

However, Jess is not pleased with their childish antics and goes to see what they are up to. She stumbles upon Nick, who she thinks is a part of the scheme and she calls off their fling.

Later, an angry Nick agrees to help Schmidt and Winston with their final prank to get back at Jess. This time, they plan on sneaking a badger through the air ducts and dropping it on the alter. Of course, their plan goes awry and Jess ends up trying to help. After a heart-to-heart in the ducts, Nick, Jess, and the badger all fall through a vent on top of the alter canopy.

The ruckus causes CeCe to call off the wedding, but she adds that she is in love with someone else – staring down Schmidt as she does so. Shevrang, too, declares his love for the mysterious Elaine, who stands up in the crowd – it’s Taylor Swift! Although her acting is cheesy, her out-of-place presence makes it all the funnier.

The episode ends with a bit of a cliffhanger, as far as one can go in a half-hour comedy. Schmidt is given an ultimatum by both Elizabeth and CeCe to pick between the two of them – an ironic twist in fate for everyone’s favorite womanizer. Nick and Jess decide to keep their fling going, even though we all know it won’t amount to anything in the end. And last, but certainly not least, a light-headed Winston awaits an ambulance for his badger wounds. Will he live to prank another day?

Overall, New Girl was able to pull off the almost impossible by avoiding a sophomore slump. In fact, I argue that the show is even better in its second season, and showrunner Elizabeth Meriwether isn’t showing any signs of slowing down for the show’s upcoming third season, set to premiere in September.

Pop-Pop and Circumstance: The COMMUNITY Season Finale

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The gang at Greendale bids farewell to their graduate, Jeff (Joel McHale), in typical Community fashion: by revisiting the Darkest Timeline.

In case you have forgotten, the Darkest Timeline was created in Season 3 when Abed initiated a dice rolling in order to determine who would go to the door to pay the pizza delivery man. Each of the six members were assigned a number and the episode followed the various situations the group could get itself into if the die had landed on all six sides. One of the timelines created from this is called the darkest timeline, in which Pierce is killed, Jeff loses an arm, and all of the characters become villains.

In last week’s Season Finale, Jeff – who knows his time with the study group is waning due to his fulfillment of Greendale’s curriculum – decides to rekindle the Darkest Timeline by rolling a die one last time. In doing so, Evil Jeff comes through the portal to make sure that Jeff does not consider staying at Greendale with his friends and urges him to take his old job back at the law firm.

Wow. I’m re-reading this as I type and it sounds so nerdy.

Ok. Moving on. So as Evil Jeff is assembling the rest of the Evils, Abed gets transported to the Darkest Timeline, where he stumbles upon Evil Abed, who explains the situation to him. My favorite part of the episode comes when Evil Abed tries to make Abed stay in the Darkest Timeline because NBC’s failed superhero drama, The Capehas become wildly successful in the alternate universe. A reluctant Abed refuses the gesture, but I could tell he was really torn.

Abed is able to return to the regular timeline with the special paintball guns that transport you between timelines and, with the help of his pals, he is able to send all of the Evils back to the Darkest Timeline.

The episode ends with a sad study group bidding farewell to their leader, Jeff, who promises to come back and visit next semester – which leads me to wonder whether or not McHale will be a series regular or a guest star next season. Also, Pierce graduates along side Jeff, but I think Chevy Chase has had enough with the show – granted he was left out of almost half of this season’s episodes.

With the season over, we are left guessing about the whole “Changnesia” thing. Who was Chang working with? Will that be brought up next season? Will there be another season? In the background of Jeff’s graduation ceremony, “Six Seasons and a Movie” is written on the chalkboard, which I hope is an indicator of the show’s longevity.

With 30 Rock’s departure in March, Parks and Rec‘s two weeks ago, and Community‘s last week, NBC Thursday has one last hurrah: The Office. Be sure to tune in to the hour long The Office: Retrospective, a look at the nine-year journey that the cast and crew took in creating the beloved and innovative television series. Following the special will be the last episode, entitled “Finale.” Slated to appear are Mindy Kaling, B.J. Novak, and Joan Cusack. Unless NBC has been able to keep Steve Carrell’s return to the show under wraps, it seems unlikely that we will see Michael Scott in the office for the show’s final episode.