I’m Back, But I Never Really Left

Hey gang,

Sorry I haven’t posted in awhile. I know you all must be worried about my well-being, so I’m here to tell you this: I’m OK. Well, sort of. In the past few weeks I’ve watched a few shows here and there and nothing has really wowed me. While the Sochi Olympics are providing some quality entertainment, my regular shows have been lagging a bit. The Walking Dead returned. It was blah. But it did make me want to eat some pudding – right, Carl?!?!? Girls has been blah. No one cares about Hannah moping around. I want season one back, Lena! 

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The one beacon of hope in these dark days arrived today. Netflix released Season 2 of House of Cards this morning, and I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve only seen the first episode, but wow. What a way to start the season off with a bang…or a shove, I guess. Francis Underwood went for his second kill in the season premiere, taking out budding reporter and quasi-mistress Zoe Barnes with a swift push into a train. Truly kicked off my Valentine’s Day with high hopes about the world! But, to be fair, Claire Underwood did remove the ash tray from the home – no more smoking for a Vice Presidential nominee. How loving. I’m looking forward to my binge this weekend, and I’ll be sure to keep you posted!

The Zoe/Zoey/Zooey’s of TV

Zoe or Zoey or Zooey is a pretty unique name. And it’s no wonder why all the most compelling characters on television today bear this name. Let’s take a look:

Zoey Barkow

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Show: Nurse Jackie
Actress: Merritt Wever
Occupation: ER Nurse
Description: This fun-loving, colorful scrub-wearing ball of fun scored an Emmy this past year for taking her character to a new emotional level. When taken home by Dr. Ike Prentiss, she confesses that she’s “not the nurse that goes home with the doctor.” But we’re cheering for you, Zoey. We’ll watch the edited-for-television version of Dirty Dancing with you and attend your Nurse’s Appreciation basement bash. And maybe we’ll throw in a driving lesson if you promise to wear your kimono to work.

Zoe Barnes

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Show: House of Cards
Actress: Kate Mara
Occupation: Journalist
Description: She’ll blackmail you until the day you die, but she won’t kill you – so that’s a plus! With the nation’s most prominent media outlets at her fingertips, she will do whatever it takes to make a name for herself. And she’s not above sleeping with members of Congress – I’m looking at you this time, Francis Underwood.

Zoe Benson

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Show: American Horror Story: Coven
Actress: Taissa Farmiga
Occupation: Witch/Student
Description: With a vagina that kills, this is one witch you do not want to mess with. I didn’t mean for that to sound crass, but Zoe Benson’s super power in this horror thriller is to take the life of any man she has sex with. Tragic, yet she works it. When she’s not out protecting the coven, she can be found having a three-way with her undead boyfriend and undead classmate. If they’re already dead, she can’t kill ’em!

Zoey Brooks

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Show: Zoey 101
Actress: Jamie-Lynn Spears
Occupation: Boarding School Student
Description: By joining the first ever class of women at Pacific Coast Academy, it’s not an overstatement to say that Zoey Brooks is truly a pioneer. From the spacious dorm rooms straight out of a PB Teen catalog, to the mouthwatering dining hall food, she made us all want to go to boarding school. Until she got pregnant and ruined everything!

And because I couldn’t resist:

Zooey Deschenel

New-Girl
Show: New Girl
Character: Jess Day
Occupation: Teacher
Description: Quirky.